I had been feeling negative energy since quite a few days but I had been ignoring it as I was trying to ignore writing about this. I am suicidal and sometimes, these tendencies overshadow my brain, especially since I am struggling financially since over a decade now despite giving innumerous amounts of effort.
I have to get multiple novels that I am writing in print.
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I checked. Even the pre-retrograde shadow period has not been going on right now. I woke up from a dream. I felt so humiliated by it.
I saw a dream in which I saw my classmate from DPSG who I only connect with on WhatsApp now and that too, I only watch his stories.
I saw a dream where I was attacked and trapped. I instinctively called for my mother but as always, it was futile.
I saw a dream where I was practicing a lot and revising thoroughly before giving a viva in school and I did ace it despite being so stressed about it.
I saw a dream yesterday. I mean nightmare. I have waking up at around 2 am. It kind of helps and kind of doesn't. It helps because I barely have any noise to disturb my smooth thinking process and it doesn't help because quiet and peace is what my head strives for but is not familiar with and waking up from a nightmare in such an environment is not very helpful, to be honest.
It is getting easier, as it always does.
It feels weird—this phase where I do things when I don't know many answers yet.
I woke up with a pungent, foul smell in the room and an absurd dream which yet again indicated that there are entities that exist on multiple planes, who are trying to attack me and maybe, even my spiritual family who is living on this Earth, separated from me as of yet.
I was sleeping and saw a dream where there was a dark room and in it, I and a few more people were present.
I woke up from another dream paralysis experience today. It is not common for me.
Listening to Music makes me feel much better and immensely relaxed, especially when there are major occurrences happening in my life.
I woke up from a dream where I felt stuck. On top of that, in the dream, I was unable to see things. I was extremely scared.
Inability to process and know each and every step of a process is extremely stressful, especially when your mind is curious as well as diagnosed as clinically anxious.
My mind says, "Why to work and put so much effort when we have to die one day?" and I reply, "Ok Sherlock.
I have moved forward by one step. I have arranged all of my professional life at https://linktr.
Life is weird, don't you think?
I keep trying multiple things, multiple outlets, multiple platforms. What else can I do? I can't assure success in all of them. I have five youtube channels- https://www.youtube.com/aakankshasaloni , https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJZsz5DbYQamtaUpPtr91ng , https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_V5wZlVA1JoKsZHHdiG_bg , https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSBETLxf39ozL1RVlBeFL8Q , https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpQV-phIiAlncG6x8X_B0BQ . My songs are also available on https://vimeo.com/aakankshasaloni , https://soundcloud.com/aakanksha-saloni , https://audiomack.com/aakankshasaloni222 , https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy83Y2RkMDQ4OC9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw . I upload the podcasts/ audioblogs of my blogs on 'Life-MusicAndArts' (aakankshasaloni.com) which reach the target of 100 among over 1100+ blogs on https://open.spotify.com/show/3KODFZL2a4fX1LNecgNeYR , https://anchor.fm/lifemusicandarts , https://soundcloud.com/life-musicandarts , https://audiomack.com/life-musicandarts , https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9hbmNob3IuZm0vcy81Yzg4ZDQzYy9wb2RjYXN0L3Jzcw apart from YouTube. My author profile is https://amazon.com/author/aakankshasaloni . I promote my work as 'Saloni's Work' on https://www.snapchat.com/add/a.saloni1999 , facebook.com/saloniswork , instagram.com/saloniswork , https://salonis-work.business.site/ , https://in.pinterest.com/aakankshasaloni222/ , https://twitter.com/AakankshaSaloni , https://www.tumblr.com/blog/aakankshasaloni . I accept payments and bookings for private intuitive card readings on Rs. 200/- per hour basis through https://paytm.me/jH-LxJE and https://paypal.me/aakankshasaloni that I conduct over call.
As the deadline is nearing,
I want the frowns on my forehead to disappear.
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